Saturday, January 3rd, 2009...2:28 pm
The ingredients of good relationships?
I recently posted about the woman I’m looking for. A friend’s recent post got me to thinking about the kind of relationship that I want to create.
Whose relationships do I admire? What are their common characteristics?
For example, some of the couples whose relationships I admire include:
evelynne and Poindexter
kitiara and abz6598
fishsupreme and sheeplass
My friends Carly and Doug
My own parents.
What seems to be common to all of them are the following:
* They treat each other with great respect and kindness.
* They share some areas of common interest; they like talking to each other.
* They both think the other is hot.
* They want similar things out of life. Their answers to the questions “Do we want kids?”, “How should we spend our money?”, “Where should we live?” are similar.
* They share compatible religious and political beliefs and values. They both say “Cool!” and “Ewww!” at similar things.
* They’re relatively easy going and cooperative. Both try to accomodate the others needs.
* They have “chemistry”. I’ve been intensely attracted to women who don’t meet any of my objective criteria. And the reverse is true is well–some women seemed perfect according to objective criteria, yet aroused no passion. Whatever causes that “click” of immediate attraction, I call chemistry.
If you only have passion, then I think you’ll often clash when the needs of the mind conflict. No passion, and I don’t think you have a relationship at all. I think the best relationships happen when the needs of both heart and mind are met.
What are the common traits of the relationships you admire?
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.